Tuesday, May 10, 2011

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

Three months ago I felt as if I was at my lowest of lows. I was lonely and life didn't seem to be going anywhere but down. I had lost the job I thought would open doors to everything good in life. That door was shut and I felt trapped. What I didn't realize at the time is that having that door shut opened my life up to a lot of good. I ended up back at the place I swore I'd never return to and although I have my days where I feel exhausted and cranky it's been nothing but the best thing for me. It's given me more opportunities to be social, to explore sides of myself that I had begun to let go of, I've been able to really spend more time with my photography, and the best part of it all has been the relationships that I've rebuilt and the ones that have started.

In the past three months though the best thing that has happened has been the relationship with a friend who has been my saving grace. I feel like our friendship in the past 3 months has been one that has been around for a lifetime. She came into my life just when I needed someone to remind me that life is precious and wonderful and full of so many good things and that even though life had been rough, at some point soon it would all get better.

There was a night where we were sharing drinks and began to discover that so much of our personal experiences, ones where we felt like we were alone in experiencing them were actually ones that we had shared without knowing until then. She's talked me through tears, reminding me that I am beautiful, that I can do amazing things with my life, she's encouraged me to stand up for myself and what I want out of life and she's shared some pretty great adventures with me in the past 3 months.

When I hear this song it reminds me of her. She reminds me to let go, live life to the fullest, live life and be myself and love myself. She's been my closest friend (besides my loverly husband) and she's been such an important part of my life. We've shared so much in these past few months and I'm so grateful that God put her in my life. I'm looking forward to our friendship continuing to grow and I look forward to all of the adventures we will have in the upcoming months.

Lisamarie, thank you for opening up your heart to me, thank you for opening up your home to me, and thank you for being you. I love you friend.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

My Father's Father

Music can be my medicine on a bad day. It can be my energy drink on a day where it's hard to get going. It has been my friend in my loneliest moments. It has kept some of my darkest secrets. Sometimes music can explain me better than I can.

On occasion I can appreciate and completely rock out to a Katy Perry or a Kanye West song, but in general music is my muse that drives me every single day.

I wanted a place where I could have a treasure chest in a sense of all of my favorite songs. These songs have seen me through the best and worst of times. I wanted them to be shared. It's like one giant playlist of my life.

First we will start off with a song by the Civil Wars called My Father's Father. I love the Civil Wars for their simplicity. When it comes down to it, I'm a very simple person regarding things that make me happy in life. I enjoy the simplicity of sitting on my porch on a nice day and watching the cars go by, or the ease of seeing an old friend and catching up over coffee, or just sitting on the couch until 4 am talking about everything random about life. The melodies and harmonies that resonate from the Civil Wars can be so absolutely spell binding and almost haunting that they've left me in tears. I love the chemistry between the two singers and the way Joy Williams moves with the music makes me fall in love all over again with the idea of romance.

Enjoy the first song on my journey.

I hear something hanging on the wind
I see black smoke up around the bend
I got my ticket and I'm going to go home

The leaves have changed a time or two
Since the last time the train came through
I got my ticket and I want to go home

My father's father's blood is on the track
A sweet refrain drifts in from the past
I got my ticket and I'm going to go home

The winding roads that led me here burn like coal and dry like tears
So here's my hope, my tired soul
And here's my ticket
I'm going to go home